Over the past couple of weeks, a few different social media groups I am
involved in had for lack of better words, a Come to Jesus moment. Things were
written, tense was assumed, private messages exploded and over all behavior, by
seemingly normal human beings, took a big old crap!
I’m over the shock and awe now and decided that I needed to sort through
this OBSESSION people have with social media.
I have only seriously dipped into the online community--twitter, tumblr, Facebook—the
past year. I’ll admit to some pretty
awesome fan girl moments when an author I like either comments or favorites one
of my tweets. Someone chooses to follow
or like me and I’m over the moon! Because
we are blessed with all of this technology at our fingertips, we can find and connect
with so many people and do it instantaneously. I’m struggling with what to call these folks, “virtual
friends”, “internet besties”, “online companions?” For some of these relationships, it seems
like a friendship starting. We exchange
nicknames, we IM, we have insider hashtag conversations, we say Hi to each
other, and we share bits and pieces of ourselves that we may not share
elsewhere.
Does this mean we are now FRIENDS?
The dictionary definition is:
1. A person attached to another by feelings of affection or
personal regard
2. A person who gives assistance
3. A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is
not hostile
Or one of the Urban Dictionary definitions:
A person attached to another by feelings of affection or
personal regard. A person who would never intentionally hurt you, lie to you,
deceive you, manipulate you, and who takes great care to be kind to you, honest
with you, dependable and loyal. Someone who you trust without question because
he/she has never given you any reason not to trust. Someone you enjoy being
around and look forward to seeing. Someone who would sacrifice him/herself for
you.
For the majority of cases, those virtual friends are never going to meet. They aren’t going to back you up. They won’t
be there to support you through family crisis.
They aren’t a phone call away and available to you 24/7. We don’t know them well enough to trust them implicitly. Social media sometimes gives us the false
sense that we are closer to folks than we really are. Getting an intimate look
into people’s lives, we start to think that we know them. They feel familiar.
Familiarity comes with expectations. Expectations comes with responsibility.
The next thing you know, you’re sitting at home, stressing out over a tweet or
a Facebook post that someone you've never met in person wrote that you think
might be about you.
So this leads me back to the original issue—the bad behavior of a few
disrupting the flow of a larger group. People! We are simply online companions! We don’t have a say in how you choose to live
your life. Similarly, because you choose
to follow me, does not mean that you have to LIKE me or have a say in how I
live my life. It is common curtesy to be
polite. To listen to what others have to say without judgment or a need to
share that judgment. To not harass or malign because of some preconceived notions
about “friendship” status. To only do
unto others what you would have done unto you. I cannot be the only adult out there whose
parents instilled these character strengths in.
Are there social media friends that I wish I could meet in person? Absolutely!
Are there individuals that I have seen conversations between or read
tweets from that I would just as soon not ever meet? For sure! Have I expressed dislike for those
persons? Nope. Can’t do it. I’m waiting for the social mores to catch up to
the technology we use. Maybe we need to
go back to just talking to one another face to face. Bottom line:
make good friends in your real life, remember to be thankful always, excel
at what you do best, give back whenever you can, and be kind to those online.
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